Wind blowing through his fingers as he tries to touch the rock. He wants to feel, feelings are what he has suppressed for long. Feeling are what he denied to penetrate his scared soul. It is cold, dark with some light. He searches for the source of light but he fails. Nodding his head, he moves his hand more towards the rock. Commands his hand to stop, from grabbing the mass of dust just few inches away. Carrying a mild smile on his face, he raises his head towards the sky. Moon is glowing at it's full strength. When was last time he had adored the beauty of night, the beauty of extra-terrestrial body which never claimed an interference in his life or just raised his head towards sky to acknowledge the power of someone? He just said "long time".
He now carries the rock and examines. Just fits into his palm, the rock is of desired size. Asks himself a question "what am I doing?" to which there isn't any answer. He never had any answers. Smiles at himself. Stands up, feels slight pain in his back. Reminds himself of last night, the night he spent of chair without any sleep, just like many of such nights from past. "Reasons are hard to find these days, it's a mystery which isn't to be solves" is what his mind replies as a clarification for last night.
Watching the surrounding, his eyes stop their search for nothing. Lake is as still as a rocks lying around and land he is standing on, he can still feel the mildness of wind on his face. He knows how much he likes to come here late at night, alone, to get some answers. Answers to some unknown questions, which have haunted him at night for years. It's been long since he has visited this place, but defies to answer his own query for a simple "why?".
"Today lets do it" are the words he utters to himself. "I want to feel" he replies to his mind. Mind which isn't just ready to take. Take something which is right across a moment. Mind wants to play with him, for which he laughs. He never could calculate rightly and won't do it today too. He is a heart follower and never listened to his mind when it is about himself.
Raising his hand carrying the rock, taking a deep breath, "ready" comes the word unknowingly. Slams the rock against a ring finger of other hand which is placed on a flat surface beside lake. A loud moan erupts, penetrating the silent night. He opens his eyes to watch and examine the damage. "Finger is still joined to my body" is what he says to himself looking at the shattered piece of flesh dipped in blood of his own. Laughs out loud at his psyche. He knows the pain will last for a week at least and he is happy for the pain which will remind him of someone, someone from his past, someone he had felt for, someone he stills desires feeling for. "I won't wear a wedding ring ever... hahaha" is what he utters to himself nodding his head, looking up towards the sky he feels the pain.
Pain.. which he knows won't leave him in happiness and misery.
Just a weird story--
4 comments:
Pain is never weird :)
Welcome back to blogging [:D]
Cant say it was beautiful.. but it was heart felt..
Physical manifestation of inner pain is natural phenomenon.. dont keep it in soo much that u find it hard to breathe,,
better let it out
Pain is so hard to rid ourselves of...specially when it's so deep it stings.
Pain..there is something beautiful about pain..And it makes you realise many things..if used in positive way, it could take you to one higher state..it can help you in uplifting of the self. The protagonist in your story has used it for destruction but still who knows this devastation may also lead to something else ;).
Nice description man :)
Well written article.
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